A new life lesson from the school of hard knocks

Hey, can you attend to this lady next?" the ER nurse called out to a passing doctor.

"Her elbow is dislocated; her arm's hanging like a deadweight."

I looked at Darren and chuckled; the nurse's graphic yet apt description had momentarily distracted me from my sorry predicament.

About three weeks ago, I came off my bicycle ... In the space of a few moments, I was thrown onto the tarmac, dislocated my left elbow, landed hard on my jaw, chipped my teeth and skinned my chin, knees and palms — All it took was one bad decision.

Thankfully, we have excellent medical care in Australia.

As I work through the physio exercises that I now have to do three times a day, I find myself going back to the moment when I made the fateful decision to go 'hands-free' on the bicycle.

I was hot, you see, and was trying to take my jacket off but was too 'lazy' to stop the bike.

I distinctly remember the inner dialogue that had been playing in my head at the time ...

" It's hot.

Shouldn't have put the jacket on.

Have to take it off.

Damn it's zipped.

I should stop.

Argh, I don't wanna stop.

Takes too much energy to start again.

Will slow my lap time.

Maybe I can slide it off.

Will need to go hands free.

Can I go hands free?

Prycey (Darren) goes hands free.

And he's just a man.

Can't be that hard.

All about momentum.

See ... "

CRASH!

---

I was in Centennial Park.

Cars stopped.

About four or five people rushed to help.

They helped me up to a bench.

One person brought the bike over.

He made a joke.

They offered to sit with me.

I was seeing stars but 'independent me' told them I was fine and that they can go on their merry way ...

Thankfully, another man with experience in sports medicine had seen my epic crash. When he saw others leave, he walked over and introduced himself.

Andrew could see I was dazed and could not move my left arm.

He ignored my assertions of being fine, and very wisely asked my permission to sit with me for a while.

This completely disarmed me – and is a good tip for everyone to remember if you ever come across someone who clearly needs but is too proud to ask for it or indeed, accept it when it is freely offered ...

I asked Andrew to call Darren for me.

My phone was at 1% charge.

Darren did not answer his phone.

His phone is always out of charge.

My phone died after two attempts.

I didn't know Darren's number by heart ...

Seeing my hopeless situation, Andrew kindly offered to take me to Emergency.

By now, the stars had gone and I had my faculties back. I asked for a lift home instead.

Andrew kindly obliged, loaded me up in his very full mini van, and then chatting incessantly, drove me home. The chatter was strategic – Andrew knew that I had dislocated my elbow and was feeling every little bump on the road ... and trust you me, the road from Centennial Park to Kensington is littered with many, many bumps.

Andrew left me in Darren's care.

Where would we be without the kindness of strangers ...

---

The first week in the cast was probably the worst. Everything hurt. It felt like I had just been in a brawl. In between the suffering, I found myself haunted by the same question :

Why did I – someone who had never ridden hands-free in her life before – believe that I could accomplish such a feat? Why did I decide to go hands-free?

It was the most bizarre thing because it was so out of character. I am usually so careful and considered, and generally risk averse – overly risk averse in fact!

I don't jaywalk:  When the 'walking man' turns green, I even check to see that no one is going to run the lights before I start crossing.

Before making any decision, I research, compare alternatives and weigh my options - often for days on end.

Even when I really feel like buying something, I'll walk away and see if I feel the same urge to buy a few days later.

And, I am a meditator: Studying the theory of mind, spending time in retreat and sitting down for an hour of meditation in the evening has been part of my life for over ten years now. I know all about mind states and fallacy of believing one's thoughts ...

How could I have been so unconscious?

---

Even after all these weeks,  I cannot fathom why : I will have a brace on my arm for the next six weeks and restricted mobility in my left elbow for the rest of my life to remind me of my folly.

What I do know is that my mind was in an erratic state when I did so.

For whatever reason, I had an overwhelming sense of urgency the whole day: I felt like I was running out of time to do everything I needed to.

I spent the whole day running from one thing to another, trying to accomplish it all.

I was exhausted by the end, but still hyped.

The 'achiever within' wanted to get a 12km bike ride in before dinner!

It is inevitable that decisions we make in such a mindstate will be rushed and impulsive — These usually do not end well.

The lesson is to never act out of a harried mindstate.

As this episode in my life goes to show however, this life lesson is easier said than done:

Even an otherwise considered, sensible and risk-averse individual, who is also an experienced meditator, is susceptible to committing such a folly ...

---

Written by Reeta Dhar. Cover Art by Darren Pryce.

Dictated from a couch in Kensington. Art reproduced from Willow the Wonderer: Honey Time

Revised edition first published by Vitalis in July 2026

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