A new life lesson – from the school of hard knocks!
- Reeta Dhar
- Mar 25
- 4 min read
Hey, can you attend to this lady next?", the ER nurse called out to a passing doctor.
"Her elbow is dislocated; her arm's hanging like a deadweight!"
I looked at Darren and chuckled; the nurse's graphic yet apt description had momentarily distracted me from my sorry predicament.
About three weeks ago, I came off my bicycle ...
In the space of a few moments, I was thrown onto the tarmac, dislocated my left elbow, landed hard on my jaw, chipped my teeth and skinned my chin, knees and palms — All it took was one bad decision.
Thankfully, we have excellent medical care in Australia.
As I work through the physio exercises I now have to do three times a day, I find myself going back to the moment when I made that fateful decision to go 'hands-free' on the bike. I was hot you see, and was trying to take my jacket off but was too 'lazy' to stop the bike.
I distinctly remember the inner dialogue that had been playing in my head...
" It's hot.
Shouldn't have put the jacket on.
Have to take it off.
Damn it's zipped.
I should stop.
Argh, I don't wanna stop.
Takes too much energy to start again.
Will slow my lap time.
Maybe I can just slide it off.
Will need to go hands free.
Can I go hands free?
Prycey (Darren) goes hands free.
And he's just a man.
Can't be that hard.
All about momentum.
See ... "
CRASH!
---
I was in Centennial Park.
Cars stopped. About four or five people rushed to help. They helped me up to a bench and carried my bike over. I was seeing stars but 'independent me' told them I am fine and they don't need to sit with me ...
Thankfully, another man with experience in sports medicine had seen my epic crash. When he saw others leave, he walked over and introduced himself.
Andrew could see I was dazed and could not move my left arm. He ignored my 'independent self's' assurances, and instead asked my permission to sit with me for a while. This completely disarmed me (and is a good tip to remember for next time someone who clearly needs help is shooing people away).
I asked Andrew to call Darren. My phone was at 1% charge.
Darren did not answer his phone — his phone is always out of charge.
My phone died after two attempts. I don't know Darren's number by heart ...
Seeing my hopeless situation, Andrew kindly offered to take me to Emergency.
By now, the stars had gone and I had my faculties back.
I asked for a lift home instead. He kindly obliged, chatting incessantly through the ride to distract me from the pain that every bump on the road brought forth. He left me in Darren's care.
Where would we be without the kindness of strangers ...
---
The first week in the cast was probably the worst. Everything hurt. It felt like I had just been in a brawl. In between the suffering, I found myself haunted by the same question :
Why did I – someone who had never ridden hands-free in her life before – believe that I could accomplish such a feat? Why did I decide to go hands-free?
It was the most bizarre thing because it was so out of character. I am usually so careful and considered, and generally risk averse - overly risk averse in fact!
I don't jaywalk: When the 'walking man' turns green, I even check to see that no one is going to run the lights before I start crossing.
Before making any decision, I research, compare alternatives and weigh my options - often for days on end.
Even when I really feel like buying something, I'll walk away and see if I feel the same urge to buy a few days later.
And, I am a meditator: Studying the theory of mind, spending time in retreat and sitting down for an hour of meditation in the evening has been part of my life for over ten years now. I know all about mind states and fallacy of believing one's thoughts ... so how could I have been so unconscious?
---
Even after all these weeks, I cannot fathom why I made such a stupid decision: I will have a brace on my arm for the next six weeks and restricted mobility in my left elbow for the rest of my life to remind me of this fact.
What I do know is that my mind was in erratic state when I did.
For whatever reason, I had an overwhelming sense of urgency the whole day: I felt like I was running out of time to do everything I needed to. I spent the whole day running from one thing to another, trying to accomplish it all. I was exhausted by the end, but still hyped. Instead of calling time out, the 'achiever within' wanted to get a 12km bike ride in before dinner!
It is inevitable that decisions we make in such a mindstate will be rushed and impulsive — These usually, don't end well.
The lesson : Never act out of a harried mindstate.
As this episode in my life goes to show however, this life lesson is easier said than done:
Even an otherwise considered, sensible and risk-averse individual, who is also an experienced meditator, is susceptible to committing such a folly ...
--
At this juncture in our human history, as the situation in the Middle East continues to unravel, I can only hope that the women and men we have put in charge of our world have not only learnt this lesson but are skilled at putting it to practice: The peace of our world may depend on it.
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